A lot of conflict can be made worse by the words you use.
Here are some simple recommendations about how to a render a situation less flammable. They apply both to answering difficult questions as they do to presenting to a less-than-positive audience.
(The real step one is spending some time seeing things from their point of view. We looked at that in more detail in this post. This article is more about your attitude, the words you say and how you say them.)
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If you are working on building a connection with people who might not be totally positive towards your message, especially if you’re doing that by showing you understand their point of view, you have to be careful of one word.
One word can ruin it all for you.
That word is ‘but’.
People misunderstand the word ‘but’. They say it’s ‘negative’, that you should avoid it, like you should avoid ‘problem’ or ‘can’t’. Or ‘should’.
Let’s be clear right from the get-go: You can’t make a decision about ‘but’ until you understand it’s function. [click to continue…]
How many presentations do you do where people are actively positive towards your message?
And how many are to a group who are somewhat hostile?
I thought so.
Conflict comes from people feeling certain about their point of view.
You can’t wait for others to see it your way. In order to change the situation, you have to go there first.
If you want to minimise the effects of a conflict situation, see things from their point of view.
But really.
If you do so, you’ll find you’re able to structure your communication (and your delivery of your communication) in a way that paradoxically makes it easier for people to come around to your point of view.
But in order for this to work, you have to genuinely turn things around in your own head.
Here’s how. [click to continue…]